Feast Day of St. John Bosco

St. John Bosco is one of my favorite saints. This weekend we plan to watch this movie. The kids can't wait because they love this one. We're skipping crafts today because we have a hard deadline to meet. Heidi needs to be read by Friday for the new book club we've joined. Let me just leave you with some words from St. John Bosco:

************************

Enjoy yourself as much as you like - if only you keep from sin.
- Saint John Bosco

************************

---

Do you want our Lord to give you many graces? Visit him often. Do you want him to give you few graces? Visit him seldom. Visits to the Blessed Sacrament are powerful and indispensable means of overcoming the attacks of the devil. Make frequent visits to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and the devil will be powerless against you.
- Saint John Bosco

************************

---

My sons, in my long experience very often I had to be convinced of this great truth. It is easier to become angry than to restrain oneself, and to threaten a boy than to persuade him. Yes, indeed, it is more fitting to be persistent in punishing our own impatience and pride than to correct the boys. We must be firm but kind, and be patient with them.

See that no one finds you motivated by impetuosity or willfulness. It is difficult to keep calm when administering punishment, but this must be done if we are to keep ourselves from showing off our authority or spilling out our anger.

Let us regard those boys over whom we have some authority as our own sons. Let us place ourselves in their service. Let us be ashamed to assume an attitude of superiority. Let us not rule over them except for the purpose of serving them better.

This was the method that Jesus used with the apostles. He put up with their ignorance and roughness and even their infidelity. He treated sinners with a kindness and affection that caused some to be shocked, others to be scandalized and still others to hope for God's mercy. And so he bade us to be gentle and humble of heart.

from a letter by Saint John Bosco

Suzuki Piano Workshop 2008

This past weekend we drove to San Marcos for the annual Suzuki Piano Workshop. Each day the girls had a master lesson with a Master Suzuki Piano teacher. They each took a drumming class, eurhythmics, Music in Motion dancing, a recital performance, observed the master teachers perform and attended the chamber orchestra recital. It was a very busy but enjoyable weekend. This is Isabelle's 3rd year and Anna's 2nd year attending. They always fly in the same teachers every year so the girls have become close to their teachers. Their favorite class every year is Eurythmics.

Here are some video clips from Anna's favorite class, Eurhythmics, Isabelle's recital performance, and their dance class. My favorite part, besides watching Isabelle play (Anna was too anxious to perform) was listening to the master teachers perform. Eight teachers in all, most with their Ph.D's in music performance, made for a very exciting recital!!! Unfortunately, my camera died or I would have recorded them too!!

******************************

Here is Anna's class singing along with their teacher, David Brown.

******************************
Here they are working on learning note values. Prior to the flashcards, they were going around the room. If he played half notes they took slow giant steps. Quarter notes were walking. Eighth notes were jogging and sixteenth notes were fast running. Dotted eighth notes were skipping. Anna has just finished doing a slow run which is eightteenth notes.

******************************

Below is Isabelle performing "Musette" by Anonymous.

******************************

Finally, here is a clip from their Motion in Music dance class. They were learning various types of dances. This was a very fun class since parents were allowed to participate. I didn't know they'd be helping me exercise over the weekend!!

Sorry about the cliffhanger ......

I didn't mean to leave y'all hanging like that. Thank you for the private emails to check up on me. I wasn't very clear. I'm doing fine!! REALLY!

Last week I was ready to throw out my entire curriculum in pursuit of a noble idea of just reading books all day. That's what I meant by being on the ledge. And so when we left to the park and I was "in a funk" I meant that I needed to read some more and figure out what to do.

This past weekend was busy with the girl's Suzuki Piano Workshop which was all day Saturday and Sunday. So I knew I wouldn't have time to blog then either.

This week we started on our new adventure.

No, I didn't ditch MODG. We're married you know. I think we just hit a rough spot in our relationship. We're negotiating and trying to smooth things out. This is what I've decided to do:

Isabelle just needs to spend more time reading. Problem is, after doing MODG work, she is just pooped!! And she just wants to run out and play. The last thing she wants to do is sit down and read for "pleasure." Soooooooo .......... she is now starting off her day with SSR (Sustained Silent Reading) immediately after breakfast. She's well fed and well rested and its working. After her 40 minutes of reading, I then read to her for about an hour. Although today it was more like 1 hr. and 40 mins. We're reading Heidi and that is my ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE BOOK IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!!!! I've read it at least a dozen times. Along with Heidi Grows Up and Heidi's Children. See why I would just love to stop everything else and just read?!?

But, she's gotta do math, Latin, geography, poetry, catechism, history, science AND piano.

And I just couldn't figure out which one to drop off. So, I'm giving myself permission to try to do it all but knowing that some weeks we'll get behind in one subject or another. But whatever happens, I will make sure she reads and is read to every day. Its that whole concept of putting your BIG rocks in the glass/cup first. And working your way down to the sand.

Somehow, the big rock of READING wasn't fitting into our days after all the other stuff was done.

So, I had to change. And its been tough. Because now I don't get to mark off all those boxes everyday. Yes, I'm probably OCD.

But just today Isabelle said, "Mom, I like this new schedule. I wish we could just read all the time. And I'm really enjoying my books because I'm not tired. And after reading I am tired and I'm ready to move onto math and my other subjects."

BINGO!!!!!!


So, that was what my hiatus was about. I'm still being pulled to the idea of just reading books for school. But I really see the value in everything else we do.

So, I'm still working on it. And busy reading and talking poor Craig's head off. And he's just looking at me with this look that says, "Get to the point and just tell me how much this is going to cost me."

He's so sweet and supportive but just doesn't like being bored with the details. LOL!!

And I'm ALL ABOUT DETAILS!! LOL!

*********************************
Also, I've been thinking about my blog and wishing it had a theme or main purpose.

What do I have to offer the blogging community besides pics of my family and random thoughts? Well, it occurred to me this weekend that I hardly ever talk about something that is a very big part of our lives .... PIANO.

And so, I've decided to start sharing more about our journey into learning the art of making music through piano playing. And it will focus on the Suzuki method and why it is such a wonderful way for children to learn. But that probably won't be for a while since Isabelle has a swim meet this weekend. And her birthday will be the following weekend.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words (and 30 minutes of blogging time)

....... until further notice. ;-)

Time Out!!

We're going to the park!! The kids need to get out and so do I. I'm in some kind of a funk. I'm on the verge of ..... I don't know. So we're going to the park so they can run and scream and I can read.

Today we did:

piano practice (both girls)
math
read aloud
SSR (Belle did 45 minutes and Anna did 45mins. to an hour)
-Isabelle has discovered The Boxcar Children. Anna is hooked on the Magic Treehouse series. She just finished book #33. I know these books are considered twaddle. Jim Trelease says series books (twaddle) is the best kind for SSR and for improving reading fluency. I TOTALLY agree. I was a voracious reader and I lived on series type books like Nancy Drew and Girls of Canby Hall. I later went on to read lots of classics (Heidi is my fave). I've given up on pushing books on Belle. And its working.
Catechism
Latin (Isabelle)
Sound Beginnings (Anna)

On the Ledge and Need to Be Talked Down

Well, I was/am reading Jim Trelease's book, The Read Aloud Handbook, again! I read it when a dear friend (yes, Tina, you!!) lent it to me when Isabelle was about a year old. Before then I hadn't really been reading to her. After reading this book I started our 15 minutes a day which quickly grew to an hour or more a day. By the time she was in kindergarten I had already read her The Wizard of Oz, Charlotte's Web, and was so excited to have a voracious reader/listener. I was SURE reading would be so easy for her. After all, she could listen for hours!!! Little did I know........

Since then our days have been consumed with school work. And somehow I have lost the time to read as much as I like to my little ones or even to Isabelle. Reading Jim's book (yes, we're on a first name basis) has re-sparked the old flame in me. And so this week I have started our days with me reading to Isabelle (Heidi) for about 45 mins. to an hour. I then read to the younger ones for about 30 mins. Isabelle then practices the piano while I hurry and school Anna. Isabelle then does math and then goes and does her SSR. Anna benefits doubly because she listens to Isabelle's and the little ones' books.

My question (and this is where I need to be talked off the ledge .... Michelle?????) is: can't we just do this everyday? Math, read alouds, silent reading, and piano???? And that's it??

I brought this up to Craig and he said, try it for a few weeks. In other words, he's the one that put me out on the ledge. Until then I was only thinking about it. He's given me permission!!!!!

And so, I'm off to email my consultant because she's pretty good. But a part off me doesn't want to be talked down. I just want to jump!!! I just want to spend all day reading and having them read and play the piano. I see the value of Latin, science, history, poetry, religion (okay, we would keep on with our Baltimore Catechism) BUT it takes so much time. Or I'm just being inefficient with my time. I did make up a color coded schedule and its looks so perfect!! But somehow, it works out better on paper than in real life.

And Isabelle gets tired easily and the reading seems to be the first thing to go. And honestly, I don't remember ANYTHING from my science when I was in the 4th grade. I don't remember too much of my history either. Actually, the only thing I remember is the math I learned and the books I read and the books my teacher read to me. And I remember that I had a HUGE crush on Mr. Tipton. That's all.

Anyways, reading this book has thrown me for a spin. I bought a used 4th edition at Half Price. But last night I also bought a new 6th edition because the chapter on SSR (Sustained Silent Reading) was TOTALLY different than my 4th edition!! Is an author allowed to change his chapters so drastically?!?

I don't know what I'm doing right now. Maybe I'll just do this for a week or two?? I always imagined homeschooling being about books, music and math. And other subjects too. But I seem to run out of time and the reading seems to be left behind. At least for Isabelle. She needs the time carved out for her. And she can't be fatigued. Anna is a different story. She logs at least 1 1/2 hours a day in reading on her own. She seems to have the ability to finish her schoolwork and still find time to read. But she's only in 2nd. Maybe we're going through growing pains in the 4th??? I don't know??

I'm off to email my consultant. And to start reading the the SSR chapter in the 6th edition. And to also continue Homegrown Kids.

I also ordered one of my favorite homeschooling books, Homeschooling for Excellence by the Colfax's. As if that is going to help me off the ledge!!! LOL!!

Thanks Tina!! You started all this 9 years ago!!!! Michelle, really!!! Email me and tell me how you're doing it?!?

Caffeine Consumption and Higher Risk for Miscarriage

Just wanted to share this article my cousin brought to my attention.

I've been tagged for a meme!

I haven't done a meme in a while. Thanks Emily! This was fun!

1. WERE YOU NAMED FOR ANYONE? Yes. My aunt on my father’s side. She had come down from New York to visit and help my mom. Well, I was late and she had to go back. At the time my parents were SO SURE they were having a boy (sans ultrasound, just a gut feeling) so they promised to name the baby after her if it was a girl. And so, I’m named Lillian ….. without a middle name!!!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 Days ago.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, when I’m not in a rush.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Smoked Turkey.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes.
6. WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I hope so! LOL!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT? I'm working on stopping. I really don't like sarcasm when its not funny. And I read somewhere that sarcasm can sometimes be a sign of anger or passive aggresiveness. After reading that I realized that most of my sarcasm was not the funny type. I don't mind FUNNY sarcasm, just not the bitter kind.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? What?!? NEVER!!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I like Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. BUT... I'm currently eating Kashi. Read #16.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I HARDLY wear shoes with laces, but if I did the answer would be NOPE.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes, most of the time.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint Chocolate Chip or Mocha Almond Fudge.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Well, its NOT their name!!! It takes me a few encounters to remember a name. I would say their smile and their eyes. Are they happy or sad eyes?
15. RED OR PINK? Red. Deep shade like maroon.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? My weak stomach muscles!! LOL!! I’m still being congratulated on my “pregnancy.” :-/
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My husband when he’s traveling.
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Well, I’m wearing a skirt and it’s black. I'm not wearing any shoes. But I have brown socks on?
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Homemade chicken soup at my sweet mom in law's.
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? High School Musical video. The kids have their cousins spending the night and they’re watching a movie while eating popcorn. Did you know tomorrow is a school holiday? Neither did I. I hadn’t planned on canceling school but ………

21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Green.
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? Brand new baby, my DH, rain, scented candles, baked cookies & bread, STEAK!!!
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My sister.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Swimming, when my daughter is competing. I don’t watch t.v. sports but I do like to go to college football games.
25. HAIR COLOR? Black.
26. EYE COLOR? Dark Brown.
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.
28. FAVORITE FOOD? Steak.
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Akeelah and the Bee.
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? My SWEATER is multi colored- black, blue, ecru, sienna brown/orange.
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Autumn.
33. HUGS OR KISSES? Both.
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? I love orange scones from Au Bon Pain but I haven't had one in almost 5 years. So normally anything like cheesecake or something chocolaty to share with Craig. Really, I prefer baked goods to desserts.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I’m rereading Jim Trelease’s book The Read Aloud Handbook. Especially the section on SSR. I’m also reading Homespun Schools by the Moore’s for the first time. On going reading would be writings by St. Josemaria.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? HA!! I don’t have a mouse pad! I’m just using a wood surface. Why? Is it bad not to use a mouse pad?
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Fox News for about 20 mins.
38. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Babies crying/nursing/snoring. Kids screaming and laughing in the backyard. RAIN. Slamming car door in the driveway at night when Craig gets home. Kids screaming for joy at sight of Craig. Laughter.
39. BEATLES OR ROLLING STONES? Neither. I wouldn’t know the difference between the two.
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Boston in the fall.
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Hmmm, I don’t know how special it is but in the 4^th grade I learned how to say the longest word in the English dictionary and I can still say it! Ready?

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

I CAN SAY IT REALLY FAST TOO!! Ready?

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

LOL!!

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? San Antonio, TX at Lackland A.F.B in Wilford Hall, Room# 564. LOL!! Actually, I don’t know the room #.

I would like to tag Jennie, Andie, Colleen and Blair.

Privileged

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.)

Bold the true statements.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
9. Were read children's books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18.
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 (piano, flute, ballet, tap, jazz, gymnastics at the local Air Force Base youth center)
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them (only because the hand me down ….. stationwagon ……. died.)
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
25. You had your own room as a child.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 (not my own phone line)
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
31. Went on a cruise with your family
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

** 10 out of 34. So what’s it saying??

Not to sound defensive, but, I was privileged. I grew up in a home with two parents who, despite the language barrier, sat by me as I did my homework. I was privileged to grow up in a home with 2 languages and a wonderful Latino culture. I was privileged to grow up in a home which couldn’t afford to eat out so we ate AUTHENTIC Puerto Rican and Mexican dishes. I was privileged to be taken to Mass EVERY Sunday. I was privileged to learn the benefits of hard work in school so that I could be the first to go to college. I can’t help but note that if my children took this quiz, their results would be TOTALLY different from mine.

Today's Lunch: Carb Fill-Up

Isabelle has a swim meet tonight and tomorrow morning. She's swimming the 100m butterfly, 100m breaststroke, 200m freestyle and the 200m IM (which is 50m back, 50m freestyle, 50m breast & 50 m butterfly for a total of 8 laps).

I'm doing my part by feeding her spaghetti last night, pancakes this morning and bowtie pasta for lunch. She's VERY nervous about the 200 IM since she's never done it before. Please send up a quick little prayer. I know she'll do great. Although she's very nervous, she can't wait.

A Year in Reflection

Tuesday was our 1 year anniversary in our home. It was also my 34th birthday. Last year I joked with Craig that he'd have a hard time topping this present! LOL!

Its been a wonderful year. We were very homesick for a few months but have adjusted to being "home." And this has become "home." The kids still miss their friends but they no longer have tears or mention them every night. They are content with their letter writing and we have been blessed to have so many dear friends come and visit.

We have grown to love our city. We see Craig's parents almost daily and if we miss a day or two they always call. My mother is a TREMENDOUS help in that she watches the younger 3 every week for our piano lessons and sometimes invites us for dinner after our lessons.

Isabelle loves her swim team and practices every day. She has grown stronger and has found something that gives her much joy. She has also become more motivated in her school work because she can't swim without finishing her schoolwork. I've instituted the "No Pass/No Play" rule I remember from high school! LOL! She has a swim meet tomorrow and Saturday.

Anna and Sophia have made their friends at co-op and enjoy seeing their little girl friends on Thursdays. Anna has really come along in her piano playing and spends most of her time outside.

I'm making friends but they still feel more like good acquaintances than "kindred spirits" but I'm sure she's out there or even among my "acquaintances" already.

This past year was also a little difficult. Today would have been the due date for our little saint. But even that experience taught me so much. I REALLY feel God has helped me to cherish my precious children even more. And while we would LOVE to have another baby RIGHT NOW, we are still waiting until God thinks its time. Sophia keeps praying the hardest. And I'm glad. Because I'm sure her prayers mean a lot more than mine. She prays often for a new baby and asks me if "God has said anything" to me. I don't know why He's taking so long but I can only wait and cherish my kiddos.

I'm amazed by how much the kids have grown and how much they've learned. Isabelle is enjoying reading and has found many books she likes. She's reading her own history and science and my fears for her are gone. She's accepted that she needs to work hard everyday and she does. Anna is always MIA because she's hidden somewhere with a book. And Sophia has started gazing at chapter books. I think she hopes to be able to read by sheer will. She's also reading her own books, which include the Bob Books.

Kolbe has turned into a little boy that is in love with his dad. Craig is now his "best friend" while I am the girls' "best friend." However, he has agreed to marry me when he grows up. Kolbe spends all his time waiting for Craig to get home to play with him. They spend their time playing with Bionicles and Hot Wheels stunt tracks

And so, little by little we are starting to make memories in our new home. And life is good.

Sometimes it pays to have pen pals!!!

LITERALLY!!

I hated being the bearer of bad news and had to make Sophia remove all the coins before mailing her letter. Poor thing was very disappointed! ROFLOL!!

OH DEAR!!! She's just come back (while I was posting) with a NEW envelope. She filled the inside of it with change!! Oh Dear!!! It must weight at least 1 lb.!!!

And she's adamant that she mail it with her letter ........

Lunch Is Served!!

Sometimes the smallest things can make a huge difference. This year I've really been trying to add those little touches that help the kids to feel like their school is real. While they like homeschooling, they don't think of it as "real" school. If someone asks them where they go to school, they might give a blank stare, they might mutter softly they're homeschooled, but more than likely they'll just say, "We don't go to school."

And they're right. They don't go to school. But I like to think of what we do as our Domestic School (aka Homeschooling) so I've been trying to help them with this.

Anyways, all this to say that at the beginning of the year I bought lunch trays. I thought the novelty would have worn off, but it hasn't. They love them!! And it helps me to make our lunches more healthy because I have a compulsive need to fill every space!!! LOL! So they usually get the main meal, fruit, vegetable and dip. And they're little blue cups are filled with chocolate milk.

Today's lunch consisted of cheese pizza, unsweetened applesauce, carrots sticks w/ Ranch dip, and chocolate milk.

Here are the kids with their trays:







Wondering where to get some trays?? Well, I ALMOST bought them two years ago from Pottery Barn Kid for WAY TOO MUCH $$$$!!! This year I almost bought these. Same problem. After sharing with my mom in law my idea, she ran out and bought them at the Dollar Store!!!! Sorry, no link! But they were only $2 each!!

Laundry, School Schedules, Bugs and Other Miscellaneous Things

Well, the kids are all healthy again. Of course, I'm behind in my laundry due to the extra sheets and towels added to the already large amount of laundry I do. How much laundry do you do? I know I'm doing it all wrong. I have, on average 3-5 loads to do a day, minimum, and that BARELY keeps me ahead. There's always a hamper overflowing, somewhere.

I think its because we have too many clothes. I buy them clothes for Christmas, and both my moms always buy the kids clothes for their birthdays and Christmas as well. But, I also have hand me downs.

Anyways, Craig is sick now.

And today I started implementing a tighter school schedule. My stallion, of course, is fighting me and trying to run off and play. The schedule, itself, is not mean or unattainable (or so I think), but it also doesn't allow for them to just go off and play the way they're used to. Especially my older ones. Normally, they end up running off to play because I don't know what to do with them while I'm working with another child.

Per my consultant, I've been trying ALL YEAR to have a schedule that has them doing things at the same time. But trying to find the right combination was tough. I think I found it. Of course this is our first day. I'll reevaluate in a week or two.

The hardest part is me. I like how quiet the house is when they are outside playing. And they can literally stay outside for hours if I let them. They get along so well and its hard for me to interrupt them to bring them in for schoolwork. Too bad I'm not an unschooler. Not sure what that even is.

Anyways, my break is over. Laundry has to be switched, pizza taken out of the oven, and children corralled.

Oh, and I need to run some Sprite up to my patient. He's on the brink of death. He rarely gets sick, but when he does he doesn't tolerate it well. And is it fair to say I'm a little jealous? He's upstairs watching FOX News!!! I can't remember the last time I had to time to watch the news. I've missed every single debate or caught the tail end thus far. And I love debates!! LOL!!

I'd schedule my own sickness but I don't want to get more behind in our syllabus. I know its supposed to work for me and not the other way around, but, well, huh, I either have to be enslaved to the syllabus or its more like summer break around here. So I've decided to skip the stomach big this time around.

Oh, and I'm enjoying the last day of my youth!! ROFLOL!!! I think I'm going to have to somehow take the kids shopping without watching what they're buying. That's a tough one but they've been waiting all week.

Yesterday I took the girls to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I can't believe I'm the only one that cried. The girls thought I was silly. There's a Dollar Movies about 15 minutes from our house. I think I might start taking them to the movies more often. It was so much fun to spend too much money on soda and popcorn when we could have just rented the DVD!! LOL!

The Beatific Vision Explained

Today when I told Kolbe to get ready for mass, he told me: "Mommy, I wish I could just die and go to Heaven so I don't have to go to church today. Its so boring."

Its not unusual for him to express his boredom with mass, but he's never actually said he preferred death!! So I stood there for a few seconds and replied:

"You know, Kolbe, in Heaven all they do is Mass."

Kolbe then said, "Oh. Well that sounds longer. I don't want to die I guess." And he got ready.

I wonder if I've just ruined Heaven for him?!? LOL!

Week of Prayer for Christian Unity

Next week is traditionally the week that the Pope prays for Christian Unity and asks us to join him for eight days, starting January 18th.

Dr. Popcak's Finals Thoughts

UPDATE:
Well, of all things, I never expected to receive personal emails from both sides of this intriguing debate!! Wish I could share them with you but I don't believe in "kiss-and-tell." I'm amazed by the smallness of the blogosphere. One nice thing is that I discovered a new blog in Heart, Mind, and Strength. Now, not only do I know about it, I'm linked over there. So much for not being found over here in my little corner. LOL!!

And what did my dh have to say? "So know everyone knows about our bug problem?" That's my Craig, always keeping everything in its proper place.

Here are Dr. Popcak's final thoughts. I still, wholeheartedly, agree with him. I've dissected ALL his comments and really feel that if you take a few paragraphs out of context, it is possible to construct an argument against him. However, if one reads all his comments and see them as an integral thought, he doesn't contradict himself and is really speaking the truth. And nothing he says is against church teaching, and even supports it.

I have been wanting to post (dying to post) my in depth thoughts on this. But that would classify me as the "in-your-face" and "non-tolerant" type. So instead, I lead you to his final thoughts because I think he does a FABULOUS job of pulling it all together.

Basically, it does come down to one's understanding of Catholic sexual ethics. I am not a Providentialist because I don't feel that is best for me or my kids. I have many dear friends who are. I would never say they are wrong. But I also wouldn't say that Providentialism and spacing children are on equal ground. Having said that, I'm not saying I'm a better mother. Some of those moms are better than me on their "not-so-good" days (which are probably not as bad as my "not-so-good" days). And I have learned much from them and think they are the funnest people to hang around with!!!

But, in general, I don't believe in Providentialism. And Dr. Popcak goes on to say that AP and Providentialism don't mix well.

Enough said.

If I were back in grad school, I think I would pick this as my thesis. I used to do systematic theology eons and eons ago (because I am turning 34 and I think that is considered middle aged by some). And part of the reason (there were many) why I never finished was that I wasn't excited enough about my studies. For Heaven's sake, I was reading The Baby Book when I should have been reading Augustine's De Trinitate or Rahner, Von Balthasur, etc. (Although I did read them if any of my old professors or classmates read my blog.)

But this, I could have studied forever. Philosophy is not merely the discussion of opinions. If Theology is the highest of the sciences and philosophy is the handmaiden of Theology, then all the other sciences are inferior and would never contradict Theology or philosophy (if the philosophy is correct and truly serving theology).

And so, I don't see anything wrong with taking scientific evidence and applying it to Theology and philosophy. They shouldn't contradict. God is the author of them all.

And I truly believe that AP is backed up by much science. And because I do, I apply those scientific findings to how I parent and to my understanding of Catholic sexual ethics.

Those are the assumptions I'm working under and the reason for why I agree with Dr. Popcak. I'm just glad he tied it all together and made it clearer (to me at least).

But I also understand that many won't agree with him. And I pray my many friends and their many kids ;-) who are providentialist will still like me.

If you really know me, this should not come as a surprise to you. If you didn't, well now you do!! And hopefully you can understand why I agree with Dr. Popcak so much.

I think I might go start that thesis just in case I ever do go back to school ........................

*FUN FACT* Did you know that in my last semester of grad school, Isabelle accompanied me to my classes as a newborn? Both classes were at St. John's Seminary where we were both the only ladies in classes among many seminarians. I was married to AP even then. The seminarians had the "pleasure" of seeing her in a sling while nursing in class. And sometimes she even graced them with a baby fart or two or three or four ......

Bug Infestation Update

Well, I think the moths are gone (or at least I don't see them anymore), but I'm afraid to put anything back into the pantry. All our eating surfaces are taken up with cans and odds and ends.

The kids aren't upset about the bugs as much as they are about having lost their cereal and bagels!! And all the comments below have prepared me for the long haul ahead.

As for our stomach bug, after Sophia was able to clear her system she felt much better and spent the rest of the day drawing and playing. The t.v. marathon only lasted until noon. The kids all ran off to play outside. The baby's diapers are getting better. And Kolbe is ..... well, lets just say if the RAID didn't kill the moths, his type of gas will!! LOL!!

But the real test will be tonight. My children seem to be at their worst with stomach bugs at around the 3-5am time period. The poor baby has been asking all day for her chocolate milk and I have to keep reminding her that it will make her spit up.

We haven't been sick for a long while. Actually, since we moved here almost a year ago. And that was with strep throat. I hope the kids feel better soon and that they don't make Craig sick (who should have been home already).

Next week will be our One Year New Home Anniversary and my 34th birthday all on the same day. Lets hope ALL the bugs are gone by then!!

Final Link

I'm done talking about this. I'm heeding Dr. Popcak's advice and stepping away from this debate to take care of my kids. Here are his thoughts on the matter of guilt and AP.

I did want to leave with the quote that seems to have caused so much commotion, a quote that was never meant for our eyes, BTW.

Dr. Popcak in his response to Danielle Bean:

I would agree that you cannot do AP without going to the nuthouse if you have another child every year. But the AP response would be that, unless God has somehow specifically called a person to act in a manner that is contrary to what he created the child's body to need (which would be remarkable considering Pope Benedict's assertion at Ravensburg that the Christian God is a God of order and reason who does not contradict the laws of his own creation) then it is imperative to the bonding process and the health of the mother that children be spaced about 2.5 to 3 years apart (give or take).

Notice he says GIVE or TAKE. When he says "imperative," I'm reading the words right after as being more important than the number of years given.

Some have said this would be a Catholic argument against AP because it would allegedly limit the size of the family. But a healthy couple who married in their 20's and practiced AP could easily have and properly form a family of 8 or more children before the woman's fertility ends. The Sears' did.

AP parents are just as open to life as others, they just seek to expand their families in a manner that is respectful both to the health of the mother and the well-being of their children. People who are doing Catholic AP correctly don't put themselves in the position of having to choose whose needs get met (the parent's or the children's). They adhere to the Catholic teaching on the common good which requires that each member of a community has a right to have his or her needs met but only in a manner that is respectful of the needs of everyone else in the community.

I suppose when I read this, I'm not shocked at all. Why?? Well, I guess he's sticking up for us women. He's saying that in seeking to expand our families we have to consider the health of the mother AND the well being of the children already here. And he's pointing out that 2.5-3 year spacing normally does that. But of course anyone is free to space them shorter or even longer. He's not demanding that ALL FAMILIES do this. He's pointing out that, practically speaking, this spacing respects both mother and living children. And this in response to the objection that trying to do AP AND have children close together would send some to the nuthouse.

*****************************
Now for the funny part, here are my children's spacing:
Isabelle is 2.5 years older than Anna.
Anna is 18 mos. older than Sophia.
Sophia is 15 mos.older than Kolbe.

***Craig almost loses his wife to the nuthouse at this juncture. ***

Kolbe is 2.5 years older than Catherine.
Catherine would have been 2.5 years older than our baby in Heaven on January 19th.

I guess I don't feel offended because I see how the spacing helped me to be a better mom. But of course, if someone can be a good mom with less spacing, then you should really read into the qualifier (more or less).

I think he's a lone voice in the Catholic community who would have families believe that being a good Catholic family involves NOT using NFP and having as many children as possible. I think discerning each new baby is good. And discerning if mother is physically and mentally ready is alright. I don't know how else to discern other than by using NFP.

I might seem very defensive but I'm also battling this same war here at home. I've met a wonderful group of women and I enjoy spending time with them every month. But they are of the opinion that NFP should be for extreme cases only. And I disagree. I embrace the whole notion of Integral Procreation.

And so I feel relieved and comforted, while I'm sure Dr. Popcak is walking through fire coals right now, to hear that it is imperative that I bond with my children and stay healthy. The footnote for me is that this can usually be achieved with 2.5-3 year spacing (more or less).

Now you ladies can see how twisted my brain is. This is honestly how I'm understanding him. Maybe I'm wrong. But I choose not to swallow the green pill (or whatever the color is from the Matrix). LOL!!!

Have a great week. Craig comes home tonight so I probably won't be around. And poor guy, I've been talking his ears off on the phone all day. He agrees it was a tough year after Kolbe was born. That was the year I bought our first baby swing!! LOL!! Not very AP appropriate. LOL!! That was also the year we started homeschooling. What a year!! But I wouldn't change anything!

I am who I am BECAUSE of what I've been through, not despite it.
-Dr. Kenneth Craycraft

More Thoughts on AP (while taking a break from fighting bugs)

Rachel Watkins, mother of eleven, and AP practicer writes this.

And Dr. Gregory Popcak writes this.

I'm not sure how to answer Michelle's question as to what qualifies one to be considered an AP. I don't know?? I know for myself its a daily thing. I don't think I ever attain it one day. Some days I'm more attached to my kids than others. Some days I do a better job. I do know I have to fight my own tendencies. I was NOT raised in a AP style of home. More like militaristic, belligerent and LOUD (lots of screaming). BUT I love my parents dearly. I see them a couple times every week. And they've mellowed out some. Although they still get a little stressed when I come around with all my kids!! LOL!

But I also know I don't want that for my kids. HOWEVER, I have that tendency inside of me. So for me, AP is something I have to constantly work at. I've read dozens of books and have observed MANY families and I tend to be drawn to those who practice AP. Although, I have MANY friends who don't and I LOVE to be with their families too.

But because I know how ugly I can be when I'm not AP, that is not an option for me. Sort of like there's nothing wrong with alcohol, except for the alcoholic. I don't do well with being punitive or trying to live a life that is not so connected with my kids.

I am a better mother when I sleep with my babies. When I nurse them until they wean themselves. When I hold them constantly and answer their cries. Craig and I also keep babies with us at all times. I really embrace Sheila Kippley's idea that babies should be with their mothers for the first 3 years. So, our dates always include babies until they are about 3 years old. Catherine is actually my first "baby" that I can leave with my mom or mom-in-law for piano lessons once a week. But they are like second mothers to her. And she has the benefit of having Sophia and Kolbe with her.


**************************
I've had to be creative with my AP. When Anna (#2) was born, Isabelle was STILL sleeping with us. What to do?? Well, we tried to force Isabelle into her own room. We tried and tried ONLY because we felt bad from others comments.

But then one day I was speaking to a student at St. Mary's. She is the oldest of 11. And she told me she slept with her parents until she was 5 or 6. And she seemed pretty normal. Actually she's a GREAT mother now!!

I told Craig and we realized that we were not being true to the parenting we wanted to follow. Isabelle was only 2 1/2 at the time. So, we bought ourselves a king mattress. And everyone fit!!

Also, I was working part time and couldn't stand the thought of having Isabelle away from me. I spoke with the priest, Fr. Mike, at the time. He agreed she could come to work with me. And so she did (which actually started a trend. There were 3 babies around the student center so Isabelle actually had her little buddies!!!). And whenever I had a meeting that needed more quiet time and less interruption, I had a college girl watch Isabelle in the nursery, just a few feet from my office. I don't know what I would have done without these gals, which include Emily, Blair and Kristen. Actually there are many others but they don't have blogs!! ;-) Those college kids probably thought I was nuts!!! At the time I was fanatical about my clothe diapers, too!! I even had Emily using cloth diapers whenever she watched Isabelle!!! LOL!! I'm indebted to all the girls who helped me and they were truly a Godsend. Emily and her then boyfriend, now dh, Mitch, made it possible for Craig and me to attend our Bradley Natural Childbirth classes every week.

Actually, now that I'm walking down memory lane ... I remember once having a great conversation about cloth diapers with Steven in my office!! So, Blair, you can blame me.

************************************
So, I think AP can be done however it works for you. I've done it while working part time. Now, I don't use cloth diapers. But they all have slept with us, been in the sling, and weaned themselves (except Catherine ... but that's another story).

I think AP is something you work at everyday. Its not easy. But I TRULY believe its the best form of parenting. I'm not judging those who don't. But I won't stop short of saying how I truly feel, either. And I can honestly say I'm a better parent when I try to be attached rather than when I'm on the defense or just out of sync with my kids.

************************************

For those with time on their hands, here are some of my favorite books on AP. Its taken me years and years to get through them. I'm listing them in order of influence on me. Here are just a few to get started. These books have definitely molded me into the parent I try to be everyday.

Womanly Art of Breastfeeding La Leche League
Nighttime Parenting Sears
Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing Kippley
The Critical First Three Years Kippley
The Baby Book Sears
The Discipline Book Sears
Parenting With Grace Popcak
The Hurried Child Elkind
The Miseducation: Preschoolers at Risk Elkind
Beyond the Birds and the Bees Popcak
For Better ... Forever Popcak
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk Faber
How To Really Love Your Child Campbell

Bugs Have Infested My Home!!

I've really been enjoying the discussion down below. I'm afraid I'll be absent for a while. I'm battling two bugs: the stomach bug in three kiddos (Catherine, Kolbe and Sophia) and this one:


Turns out a box of cake mix I bought had these little critters called meal moths. I hadn't intended on any new pets. I don't know what's worse, the stomach bug or these moths?? Please keep me in your prayers. Craig comes home tonight. I've already thrown away half my pantry, just to be safe. Of course, that leaves us with canned goods for breakfast, lunch and dinner. All our cereal, flour, crackers, sugar, bread and oatmeal are gone. :-(

The kids helped me empty the pantry. Isabelle said they can play supermarket now. My kitchen tables and counters runneth over with canned goods.

I promise from here on out to only buy a week's worth of groceries.

School is cancelled!! Today I declare it T.V. marathon day for anyone under the age of 6. This is real good Attachment Parenting, huh?! LOL!! Line up begins with The Rescuers (which is something I need!! LOL!)

I'll be busy laundering sheets and towels, vacuuming and scrubbing the pantry, and attending to sick little ones. Thy will be done, Lord!!

Well, I've gone and done it ...

... I commented over at Danielle Bean's blog!! I can't believe I did it because I HATE getting into debates with people I don't know and with folks who will inevitably misinterpret what I say. But I couldn't let Attachment Parenting continue to get so many beatings without giving my positive assessment of this parenting style.

Anyways, I hope no one replies back to my comment because I don't think I'd have the nerve to follow up!! LOL! I didn't want them following me over here either, so I didn't leave my blog address.

Can you say chicken?!?

But I would love to hear YOUR thoughts since you are friends.

I have Emily to thank for all my anxiety right now.

In case anyone wants some wonderful books on Attachment Parenting. I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Sears and Dr. Popcak.

My copy of The Baby Book was given to me BEFORE I was ever even pregnant with Isabelle. That book alone changed the rest of my life!! Before reading it, I was destined to have a nice career. I was not familiar with cloth diapers, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. What I would have done with that other life, I'll never know. And I'm so thankful too!!

Lillian
† JMJ †

Happy Epiphany

Well, Christmas ended yesterday (twelve days of Christmas being Dec. 25-Jan.5) and today we celebrate Epiphany, or the Three King's Day. I bought King's cake for the family and whoever finds the baby Jesus will lead our Rosary tonight. Not really a "gift" but the kids don't know any better! ;-) Many a war has begun over who gets to lead the first decade. Poor Mary! Its as if we insist on stomping on those roses before handing them over. Still, better squished roses than none.

As for Epiphany, I imagine the three kings had a tough journey while looking for the baby Jesus. Who knows whether they got along. I imagine at times they were tired and grumpy and might have preferred to give up and go back home. Nevertheless, they persisted and found what they were looking for, the Saviour.

This year I pray my family will continue along the journey God has mapped for us. I'm starting to understand that the journey is worthwhile whether it feels easy or hard. For example, our Rosary is worth praying, whether all the children get along. Most of the times they do, but I'm no longer surprised when we hit obstacles. We just have to persevere, just like the wise men. The same with our studies, prayer commitments and mass attendance. God will truly be pleased with the gift of ourselves. Showing up and being present to God, even if not in the most perfect way, is a way of showing God how much we love him.

This year I can promise God there will be many trampled roses in the form of a rosary. Many of the gifts we bring to the alter will be dented and partially unwrapped. But I'm sure God will see our gifts for what they are, a feeble attempt at perfect love.

And I pray that God will continue to give us the strength to continue the "good fight" and to seek Him out, just as the Three Wise Men.

Happy New Years friends!!

Lillian
† JMJ †

Blogging takes on a whole new meaning

.... for me, at least. I've always moaned (to Craig) that I don't have time for albums. Blogging yes, but not albums. And I've always wished I could just turn my blog into an album. Or a yearbook of sorts.

Well, now I can!!!!

I can't begin to tell you how giddy I am!! Can you imagine all my hard work at blogging (*snort* very hard indeed!) resulting in a beautiful yearbook!?! Can you imagine a bookshelf dedicated to beautiful hardbound yearbooks with pictures and descriptions? Can you imagine getting all this with just typing ... no scissors, glue or paper required (scrapbooking gives me nightmares)!?!

I am truly giddy!!

I think I'm going to start off small by making a little book with a theme. Maybe I'll give it to a certain someone (who doesn't read my blog but should) for a certain special "*******Day."

Reflection on the Holy Family

Jennie has written a beautiful reflection on the Holy Family that really spoke to my heart. When you get a chance, go read it.