Ramblings of a lonely wife

Craig left for China Thursday morning. He's due back exactly a week later.

We were able to keep ourselves busy Thursday-Saturday. But today was hard! Sundays are just not the same without Craig.

I'm lucky in that I've been able to speak to him at least twice a day. He's struggling with the food and finally broke down and visited KFC!!

Whenever he's gone I try to keep busy by having a major task to focus on as my goal. This week's goal is the laundry room. Let's just say that my laundry room has wall to wall carpeting thanks to clothing (dirty/clean/who knows??). I'm making headway but still need the next 4 days to finish!!

Tomorrow we're going roller skating with a homeschooling group. That will cheer up our Monday. Tuesday we have piano lessons and the older 4 are singing for tenebrae (evening divine office). Wednesday we'll just stay home and get ready for Craig's arrival.

He's bought us lots of goodies. And has bought himself quite a few watches that we could never afford (actually we could BUT the kids would break them). I can't wait for him to come home. I'm planning a scrumptious American dinner (don't know what, yet, but it won't be Chinese!!).

And I'm looking forward to Holy Week, the Triduum, and Easter! I've ordered some books and videos for Sophia, Kolbe, Catherine & Veronica. I'm still not sure what I'm getting for Isabelle and Anna. They're getting so big and outgrowing the picture books I normally get.

As always, there will be new underwear in their baskets. Its a tradition I started years and years ago. It's a basket filler that also serves a practical need. Maybe I should get the older girls Christian cd's?? Or more chapter books? Still thinking. Any ideas?

I'm also busy crocheting the most adorable baby blue blanket. I hope to finish in a week and start making bibs.

And so that's what I've been up to. That and evening movies. Last night I watched Catch Me If You Can. The night before I saw We Are Marshall. The night before I rented The Blindside. I hope I find something good tonight.

Tomorrow morning I'll be calling Craig first thing and then get ready for mass.

*sigh*

When He's not here I have too much going on in my head. LOL!!

Back to laundry and movies. First I need to read books to little ones, say prayers with kids and get them in bed.

'Night, 'night.

FYI

I'm sans computer.

She/he decided to go on strike. Actually, that was very generous of him/her considering I have lots of school prep for my rising 1st, 2nd, 4th & 6th graders (who start in 2 weeks). Still, I miss reading blogs, email, and updating my little corner of the blogosphere.

I hope to be back soon. However, I will say that I've completely gutted, vacuumed, de-cluttered and beautified ALL the bedrooms upstairs. The girls and the boy love their rooms. And my room is now a haven again.

I just wish I could take pictures. If my computer doesn't get fixed soon I might just have to tackle my laundry room closet!! LOL!

Miss you!

~Lillian, who's stolen dh's laptop!! ;-0

Re-evaluating Priorities

I've been doing alot of soul searching these past few months. Actually, Craig and I have been talking ALOT lately about how our family life has changed as the kids have gotten older. So many activities to run to .... swimming, choir, piano, co-op, swim meets, book club, mom's night out, pro-life meetings, etc., etc., etc.

I miss the days of just watching the girls dance to music after dinner. I miss the days of sitting in front of the house while watching the kids roller skate and on their bikes.

I understand that as kids get older, life gets busier. But I think that somehow, Craig and I lost the reins and the activities have become like a run away horse buggy.

And so we've been talking and praying and talking and praying.

The girls and I have been going to daily mass since about February and that has really changed the rhythm of our days. I now get up early. I can't believe it!!! I never thought I would be getting up voluntarily at 6:30am. My goal is to push it back to 6am and eventually 5:30am by September. But, with that early wake up time comes early bed times!!

Some things are a priority like mass, school and piano. I think everything else can pretty much go on the chopping block. And so the chopping has begun. I have been part of a discussion group for over a year now. We meet at Olive Garden to discuss home management(HomeAdvantage) and glean wisdom/tips from each other. While I've learned alot from the other ladies, I've also decided to step back from this group. It can be more social than instructive at times. ;-)

And because I've joined the Gabriel Project at our church, something had to give. .

The next activity on the chopping block is ....... swimming. *wince*

Swimming has been a blessing but has also brought many caveats. Dinner HAS to be ready by 4pm so that my swimmers can digest and be ready to dive into the pool by 5:30pm. Swimming requires a heavy commitment of time (daily). Absences are unforgiving and show up in swim meet times. While Isabelle has LOVED it, she misses being home in the evenings (when Craig isn't working). She's tired in the mornings because bedtime is usually around 9pm (after showering, eating a snack and talking/praying/getting ready for bedtime). She misses hanging out, being read to, and enjoying slow, peaceful dinners. And I miss her.

After all, she's only 11!!!

And so, we're starting to re-evaluate everything we're doing. Because activities can be the same as clutter in a house. If it goes unchecked, too much can come in through the front door and create havoc.

Ironically, because we're so busy swimming, we've lost our time to bike ride, roller skate, visit the YMCA for rock climbing and go on post dinner walks. When we lived in College Station we went on walks DAILY and even visited friends. In "the woods" our neighborhood was so beautiful and we loved walking in the evenings. We have yet to go on a family walk and we've been here over 2 years!!!

The chopping block is out. And we're cutting back.

I'm curious to hear from those of you who swam when you were young. At what age did you start and how often did you swim? I'm thinking maybe we just need a break from year-round swimming until she's a little older. Time to regroup. A year or three to enjoy being young.

I think I'll start re-reading my David Elkind books. ;-)

Random Thoughts

I know I've been quiet lately. Last week on Monday our air conditioner broke. Isabelle started complaining on Tuesday that the right side of her abdomen hurt. On Wednesday, after seeing our family doc, I took her to the ER. He couldn't rule out appendicitis without a CT scan.

Several hours later we headed home with the prognosis that she had a gastrointestinal virus. Personally, I was afraid she was maybe experiencing cramps of the feminine kind. I would have hated for this to have been how she would be introduced to her cycles. Craig was out of town and ready to hop on a flight home if they were going to operate.

As for Isabelle, she said she was hoping to have a few days in the hospital and would I please get her a private room. She also enjoyed the wheelchair ride. She did NOT like getting an i.v.

My diabetic father had a horrible foot infection. We were fearing the worst. So far the antibiotics are working. I vow to get all my excess weight off. Notice I haven't posted any weight loss. That's because there hasn't been any. *frustrating*

The last week and a half has been spent either at the pool or at my mom-in-laws. The downstairs was unbearable ..... until today. When we woke up I thought the house was freezing!! Its amazing how one's perception changes of what is and is not tolerable after doing without.

Anyways, all this to say I've missed blogging and reading blogs. But my time and my plans have not been my own.

Today at mass Father said that we need to become more pure of heart so that we can pray "Thy will be done." He said God always answers our prayers with a YES or a NO. And that we need to pray to be able to accept the NO's. That's somewhat hard for me to live. I mean, I'm all for accepting God's will as long as it doesn't hurt or make me sad ......... I obviously have a long way to go. ;-)

Last week our neighbor's wife died after a long battle with cancer. My heart goes out to him. He's now by himself in his big house. I think of him often when I feel like I'm going to go crazy from all the noise and chaos. I need to remember that I am thankful for 6 loud voices and toys/clothes/shoes/bags/books/magazines/swimsuits/towels scattered everywhere. I really am. I can't imagine his loneliness and keeping busy as I see him doing. He looks like he's fired his lawn service because he's out doing yard work everyday.

I spoke with him at the pool (for the first time) last week. I didn't know what I was going to say to him but I didn't want to ignore him, either. He ended up talking to me for over 20 mins.

I baked him some bread in my new convection oven but it turned out burnt. Either convection ovens are over-rated or I'm an idiot when it comes to operating fancy equipment. My Craig is the sweetest and bought me a stainless steel Electrolux double oven. I'm sure he was expecting better meals. So far I've cooked dried meatloaf, burnt bread, overcooked pizza and hard cookies.

I need more practice.

Last week and the beginning of this week were not what I had planned. Thy will be done.

Happy Mother's Day!

Blessings to all you dear mothers!!

I had a wonderful day with my family. After mass we went to lunch and then to visit my mom-in-law and mom. Craig hung up pictures and fixed little things around the house. Little tasks that aren't important but meant alot to me (i.e., light bulb in pantry, fixed toilet paper holder, lowered pictures and mirrors, hung up new pictures, new hepa filter, etc.).

He also gave me much needed Mary Kay products. I am one that will go for months after I've run out. I had mentioned to my friend what I needed and she casually got in touch with Craig (or vice versa?? not sure) and today I am fully stocked with creams, makeup and new compacts.

The kids made me adorable cards. Craig had told them to mention a favorite memory. Anna mentioned she loved going to the Oil Ranch with me. That was over 3 years ago!! LOL!! Kolbe bought me some flowers. Craig said he was running through thse store yelling, "These are for my mommy!" Well, later when he got to my mom-in-law's he changed his mind and asked if he could give them to grandma instead. I smiled and said sure. Isabelle got angry and cried. She was arguing with him that they were mine. I think she was afraid my feelings would be hurt. I had to calm her down and tell her that it was okay. He's still little and I know he meanth them for me in the store. He just wanted to give something to his grandma, too. Besides, he promised to pick me some flowerrs when we got home (which he did). ;-)

*******************************************
This past week was filled with traveling and visiting long time friends. We attended our Goddaughter's 1st communion in Dallas and caught up with our dear friends. We had a great time and didn't want to leave. I wish I could have all my friends near me all the time. I miss them terribly!

*******************************************
I'm busy rearranging my furniture and book shelves. And I'm so thankful for my life. My resolution for this month is to be more careful with my words. I can be too critical and my kids and husbands deserve better.

Tomorrow starts a new week. I used to not look forward to Mondays. Mondays never went well. School was slow to start and Mondays just were not my favorite day. I'm glad to say that things are changing!! Mondays are getting much better.

For Lent, instead of giving up something I resolved to attend daily mass more often. Now that Lent is over I'm glad to see my kids have accepted mass as a daily habit (except for Tuesdays ... we have piano and speech therapy). Kids can get acclimated to just about anything quickly. I'm slowly becoming more of a morning person.

Tomorrow I'm going to read to Sophia, Kolbe & Catherine for a very long time. Reorganizing my books took me down memory lane. I used to spend hours reading to Isabelle. I'm sad to say my younger ones aren't as familiar with those same books.

And so, there's my rambling thoughts for tonight. Tomorrow I'm choosing my words carefully, smiling more, and reading to the kids.

Have a great Monday!!

What's New?

Well, I'm glad you asked! Since I've last "chatted" we've:

1. Gotten a dog!!!!
2. Had our oven break a week before Lent. We're still shopping for a new one so I "gave up" baking for Lent! LOL!
3. I've crochetted my very first wool diaper cover.
4. I signed up to teach in our co-op next year.
5. Have been making/coordinating costumes for co-op play which will be performed next week.
5. Baby Veronica learned to roll over & is cutting her first tooth.
6. Have a white 12 passenger van complete with Catholic/prolife bumperstickers (actually we've had it since December and I forgot to tell you!!
7. Did I mention we got a dog?!

Obviously, I need to show off our new dog, my wool cover, and Baby Veronica. But ... I'm packing for a mini-vacation with my Sweetie!! I'll try to get those up soon.

Random thoughts

I LOVED Jennie's post on nothing and thought I'd do the same!

Often, what keeps me away from posting is the idea of linking and going into details. So, no links and details. Just teasers! LOL!

First, we replaced our washer with a Frigidaire 8000. She's a front loader. I won't go into details (see above) or the merits or compare top vs. front loaders. I like front loaders and have made peace with the fact that her door needs to stay open and that each night she has to be wiped down so she's completely dry. I figure most people have pets and give them baths. I can wipe down my washer. She's staying healthy and NOT getting mold.

We got a washer in black! That was exciting! I have a HUGE, HUGE think for black furniture. My theory is it can't be ruined with markers. Even if some little human manages to get a spot on something, it can always be painted over. Well, I was thrilled to be able to carry that love over into my washer! Of course, now I don't have a matching set. But when the dryer breaks, it will be swapped out with black, too! And I welcome that black sharpie to try and leave a mark!!

********************************
Also, rumor has it that our church, when it builds a school in a few years, has invited the Nashville Dominicans to run it!! At first I was elated. But now the hamsters are running inside and I'm in a state of confusion. Do I really want to be a school mom? Homework? Car pooling? No more time for swimming or piano?

Why did they have to invite such a wonderful order to run it? I can feel my resolve wearing thin and the school isn't even built yet!!

What made me laugh was when someone suggested maybe the homeschoolers would send their children and then have lots of homeschooling moms teach!!

NO WAY!!!! If I'm paying to have my kids educated, I'm not getting up every morning to go teach someone elses!!! I can barely handle homework assignments and lessons plans for my kids. I have NO DESIRE to have a class of kids. Ever since college I've always sworn I would never be a school teacher. Every Sunday when I teach my CCD class (and they are good kids) I am so thankful its only for an hour.

I don't know why I don't enjoy teaching little kids. That sounds awful considering I'm a homeschooler. LOL! But I really don't care for teaching others. Probably because I don't keep things simple. I find it exhausting. I'd much rather teach college students with whom I can sit around and discuss. I think I'd make an awful teacher. Parents would hate me. I don't believe in busy work or workbooks. I don't think kids should have to fill out tests to prove they know something. In fact, all the teachers would hate me too!!

Also, I think kids should be outside playing ..... ALOT!! I'd be giving my kids a morning 30 min. recess, a 30-45 min. lunch recess, and another recess in the afternoon. I would hate prepping them for those standardized tests. And I would probably have a complaint with some of the texts required. Not because I think the Nashville Dominicans would pick bad books, but because I think more time should be spent reading aloud to kids and letting kids read silently. And because there are just sometimes too many "textbooks." Also, many parents who send their kids to schools seem to think lots of homework is a good mark of a good school/teacher. I think the truly good teacher should be able to teach it all without sending home any assignments.

To think I would stop homeschooling just to start teaching! LOL!

However, if I did teach, I could have my classroom decked out in rain gutter bookshelves!! LOL!

No, if my kids ever go to school, I'm using that time to go to daily mass, volunteer at different agencies, take naps, keep my house perfectly clean, have lunch with other moms, and go to the spa. But since I homeschool, I do none of the above!! Well, I do clean now and then. And we are working on eventually getting to daily mass everyday. Right now its sporadic.

That was a long random thought!

Have a great week ya'll! And don't forget to google Frigidaire and Nashville Dominicans. I'm feeling too lazy too link. And my apologies to all you wonderful "former college students" who have ruined my career in teaching little kids (other than my own). I'd link to you, too, but many of you are in my sidebar already!

Fun Times and Ramblings

Yesterday was the way I imagine all Saturdays should be. In the morning we picked up the house a little. Craig went to the RC car racetrack with the four older children. I went to the local homeschooling store with the baby and took my time sifting through the used section. We all met back at home and chatted and played until our friends came over for dinner (BBQ ... yum!). Why can't all Saturdays be like this?

And we still have Sunday ... YEAH! Gotta go get ready for mass! The girls are all wearing pink today. I love matching them. Not sure how long Isabelle will continue to go along.

Maybe today I can learn how to get pictures on my blog. I actually know how, I just need Craig to show me how to make the picture files smaller before I upload them.

I really like this blogging! Although the more blogs I visit the more I'm amazed with all the fancy stuff I see. Music playing, scrolling signs, etc. Amazing!

LIVED in Home

As I was over at Guilt-Free Homeschooling, I had a chance to read this. It was exactly what I was needing. I know I can get caught up in wanting the "magazine lay-out" home. With five kids under eight, that is not a reality for more than 2 mins! No sooner have I cleaned up a room that I turn to find purses, dress up clothes, dolls and Tonka trucks strewn all over!

On the days when my home is ship-shape my kids are miserable! "Don't touch the table I just polished it! Don't pull out all the books I just organized them! Don't EAT I just cleaned/mopped/vacuumed, etc!" You get the picture. I had a friend once tell me that with lots of kids the goal should be to have a clean house, i.e., toilets, sinks, kitchen counters, floors, etc. Clutter, however, will happen. I've been trying to embrace this concept but never knew what to call my new ideal. Now I know: "LIVED in Home."

Yesterday I TOTALLY cleaned my refrigerator! Freezer, bins, shelves .... EVERYTHING! Boy did it feel good. And the kids can't mess it up (unless they try to help themselves to the open pitcher of Red Kool-Aid!) Okay, so maybe they can mess that up too. But at least having a clean frig is good for them and enhances their quality of life (and food) which the perfectly organized book shelf does not.

I'm glad I found this post. I'll probably be referring to it often. Thanks Carolyn!

Grass is Greener on the other side (from far away)

Today the girls went to Vacation Bible School. We have all been looking forward to this week. They were excited about the idea of being around other kids. I was looking forward to some quiet and productive hours. The grass is always greener on the other side ...... however, one never thinks about all the ant hills, sewage problems and other unpleasantries that lie waiting in that field!

Isabelle came home yesterday complaining that a boy kept hitting her. At first I thought, "Oh, maybe he's gotta a crush on her and this is his way of showing it!" She assured me he was just being mean. Today when I dropped her off I spoke with her teacher who confirmed the boy was being mean ... and to other girls as well. So what did she say? She said she wanted to do something but she wasn't sure where her boundries were since he was not in her group?!? Boundries? I would think every kid in that room is within her boundries when it comes to safety and manners. I guess as a homeschooling mom, boundries mean something different to me. They help to define where a child should be and what he can do. They should not limit the teacher. Can you imagine not knowing if you can correct a student who's hitting yours because they're not in your class!!

While all this was going on I was trying to enjoy myself. I thought I would start with sewing. But first, I had to finish the laundry and dishes. Habit I guess. In the end I sifted through my scraps and threw away material that was too small and worn. No sewing done.

So, today I took a different approach. I dropped the girls off (after speaking to the lady), went to daily mass and stayed for the rosary. If I get nothing else done today, I accomplished alot!!

I'm not sure why there is a need for Vacation Bible schools. Mine don't come home with any new knowledge. They seem to enjoy the crafts, singing, and being with other children. I don't really get alot done either. Maybe school moms need the routine of sending their kids to school? All I know is that its only been two days and I already miss mine! I'm glad they're having fun. But every year I realize my side is green too! From far away my grass looks great. You can't see the worn paths my kids have made (they spend a lot of time outside). You can't see the mud pies and dug up holes. You can't see my baking pans filled with "food" (aka grass clippings, rocks and mud). My side looks pretty green from the other side. And I'm sure if a school mom where to venture onto my side she would be surprised to find all these things. Maybe even a little horrified that kids could do so much damage (imaginative play) and that a mother would allow it!!

All I know is, I miss my side. Can't wait to go back. I know where all the holes are and I know where I'm hiding my new cake pans!!

Mexican Shells

We just finished eating a dinner of Mexican shells and I was reflecting on our move back to S.A.. We're moving at the end of the summer and I can't wait! I've really missed my family and the culture. I grew up moving around since my dad was in the Air Force. Even though I was born in S.A., my family didn't move back until high school. My sweetheart, on the other hand, was born and raised there and never moved away until he married me. Since being married we've lived in Boston and various parts of Texas. It's been ten years since we've lived in our home city and we've changed. Months before our wedding my mom was trying to teach me how to make tortillas, rice and lots of good ol' Mexican and Puerto Rican cuisine. Ten years later I have yet to make tortillas.

My kids think they're not Mexican! Isabelle is afraid everyone will only speak Spanish in SA even though she's visited countless times. My kids think they don't like Mexican food since they prefer Italian and American food. So, a few months ago my mother-in-law taught me how to make her Mexican Shells and Fidelo. Today I think I finally mastered it! Nothing will ever be as good as my mom's rice or my mil's Fidelo but I no longer cook like a Gringa. Now, if I could only teach my kids Spanish!

I need to pass on my heritage to them. I haven't missed it in all these ten years because I was trying so hard to fit in with my surroundings. Now that I'm going back to a Hispanic culture I realize I've actually changed more than I knew. My Latin-American history professor from college once had me read a book entitled, "Latinos" by Earl Shorris. In it he noted how the language and culture that had been passed on for centuries could be lost in one single generation. He credited this to assimilating and education. Latinos who attend college (and I am the first one in my family) usually end up being the generation that stops handing down the traditions of their culture. When I read this I remember thinking, "NEVER!" Well, its happened! My kids don't know Spanish and many other things about their heritage. This move back home has strengthened my resolve to rectify this. Today it starts with Mexican (not Italian) shells. Tomorrow I think I'll read them "Oso pardo, Oso Pardo, Que ves ahi?" ("Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?") as well as "Buenas Noches, Luna." I actually have a whole collection of books in Spanish that I started collecting when we found out we were having Isabelle. Its now eights years later and I need to start reading them.

If at first you don't suceed .....

Well, my first attempt at blogging was short lived! I really meant to keep it up. I've been frequenting other blogs and think I will try again. I love the idea of sharing my thoughts and life with others. I haven't figured out how to add side bars or links so bear with me. Maybe I can get Craig away from his remote control cars to show me how. Anyways, I'm back!